Janice Pottle and Ted Stuchberry
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03.30.2006 10:08pm - A Sibling for Peyton

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I don't have any pregnancy test photo to post this time, but Ted and I are sort of "expecting"... just in a different way. This is the official blog announcement that we are in the process of adopting from China!

Those of you who have talked to us recently probably already heard this news, and those of you who have talked to us EVER might know that this is something we always planned to do. Our "family plan" has always been to give birth to one baby and adopt the second. So we are moving ahead with the plan!

This has actually been in the works since before Christmas, when we decided it was time to get started and attended some seminars and stuff. We count our official "start date" as January 10th, though, which is when we had the first interview with our "adoption practitioner". He is basically a social worker who does a series of interviews with you to talk about parenting, and why you're adopting, and the stability of your relationship, and all that good stuff.

We finished all those interviews, got all the necessary paperwork done (which included criminal background checks in Canada and the US, reference letters, medical checks, etc). Now the social worker is in the process of writing up our "Home Study" which is where he compiles all the info he has gotten about us, and then concludes with a recommendation of whether or not we would be fit adoptive parents. According to his timeline he should be finished that any day.

After that, the next step will be to submit the Home Study to the Ministry of Social Services (or something like that, not sure of the exact name) where they will give the final approval. Next the documents get notarized, translated, and sent to China where they are approved again. THEN finally if you are approved through all that, they match you up with an available baby and send the info for that baby to you (it is called a "referral") after which point you travel to China to pick the baby up, about 6-8 weeks after receiving the referral.

To answer the most common questions we get... it will probably be spring 2007 or maybe even later when we get our baby. The baby will almost definitely be a girl, although we didn't specify, most of the babies available in China are girls. The baby will probably be about 1 year old, I wish we could get her younger, but "that's just the way it is". Why adoption? Well, just because we both feel there are enough children in the world, we have space in our home and our hearts, so why not open up this space to someone who really needs it? Ted was adopted as a baby, and we would like to "pass on the favour". Also I am totally fine with skipping the whole pregnancy and giving birth thing this time around. I mean, it was cool to experience that, but it was so hard too. I certainly don't mind doing it a different way this time. Why China? Honestly, for me, it's mostly because the process seems a lot easier. Adopting domestically is not just one roadmap that leads to a definite baby, it seems from the research we have done. If you want a young baby it involves "selling yourself" to birth parents, allowing them a window during which they could change their minds (how heartbreaking!), and potentially very long waits. The process of adopting from China is well established, pretty well the same for everyone, and takes about 18 months - 2 years on average, so it's pretty predictable. We also have concerns that if we adopted domestically we could be taking a baby from some other potential adoptive family who couldn't conceive biologically and really wanted a same-race child. And, we feel that children in Canada who aren't adopted are usually in foster homes and so on, fairly well cared for, as opposed to in orphanages like in China where no matter how well they are treated, they are still institutionalized. So, there's lots of stuff to think about. Basically, though, we always pictured that we would adopt internationally so this feels right for us. We are excited we will get to travel to China too! From the trip reports I've read from other adoptive parents, it sounds like they get to do quite a bit of sightseeing in addition to picking up their baby, so that will be cool.

Well, I think that's about it for now, but I'll be sure to post more about how this all unfolds as we work through the process! We are excited about it, but just staying calm because we know it will take a while and now that we've finished collecting the paperwork and so on, there's nothing much for us to do except sit back and wait for each step along the way. It is very strange (and sad, actually) to think our future baby might actually already be born and be out there somewhere... I hope she is doing okay... hold on, little one, we're working on getting you into a safe loving home!


Posted by in category Adoption


Comments

Posted by on 04.01.2006 10:48pm CST

Wow Janice, Ted, and Peyton, what great news! As an adopted person, I'm really glad that you have decided to build your family through adoption. As a member of the human race, I'm glad you are giving a Chinese orphan the chance at love, life and the kind of childhood that everyone deserves.

Cool!


Posted by on 04.03.2006 01:26pm CST

Thanks Deb!

A quick update: our social worker emailed on Friday saying that our home study should be finished sometime next week... meaning sometime THIS week now! So things are moving along.


Posted by on 04.03.2006 03:54pm CST

We are looking forward to another little granchild to love - another little Pottle-Stuchberry! Can't wait!

Love Nanny and Poppa John


Posted by on 04.05.2006 01:40pm CST

What a lucky little baby - congratulations to you
both. I will have to put you in touch with our
neice, Marilyn and her husband Brian who adopted
a Chinese baby (Kate) a few years ago (I think she
is around five years old now) and they are in the
process of adopting another one (they are further
than you are). They live in Ottawa too.

Will see you on the weekend sometime.

Love,
Aunt Lorraine


Posted by on 04.25.2006 09:53am CST

Wow - congratulations! A little sister for Peyton :D I remember from living in Ottawa that being Asian there was a little unusual, at least more unusual than Vancouver.

I'm sure this will be a huge adventure for all of you! We'll be waiting for more news as it occurs...


Posted by on 04.25.2006 10:10pm CST

Hey, I thought I should let you know that I think someone is posing as Janice. Which sort of freaked me out. I was on this girl's Xanga, and she had your pregnancy photos posted and said that she was pregnant with a little girl and those were her pictures. Strange, huh. She's been getting a whole load of comments from strangers because she was supposedly raped, and the baby is the result of the rape.

Thought you might want to check into that. Unless it's your..xanga?

It kind of scared me for you guys. And I know you don't even know me.

BTW, I think it's pretty darn cool that you're adopting from China. My younger sister was adopted from China, and I myself am half Asian. :)

http://www.xanga.com/forgetforgetforget


Posted by on 04.28.2006 10:02am CST

Thanks for all the comments folks! The latest news is, that our homestudy is officially finished and off to the Ministry for approval. That usually takes about 10-12 weeks, and hopefully soon after that it will be sent to China. The latest estimates say maybe 16 months after that! Wow, this is a long process!

To Jo, who left the previous comment: thanks for letting me know about this xanga site. It was really freaky to click on that link and see a bunch of my own pictures there. However, it seems that girl realized she'd been discovered, since she has taken the pics down and posted an apology. I'm glad that's resolved. I guess if you post pictures on the internet, these things can happen!


Posted by on 05.04.2006 09:56pm CST

Congrats Pottle Family! I'm interested to hear of the trials you will go through to get your next daughter.


Posted by on 06.01.2006 11:35pm CST

With all due respect, why are you adopting from China? There are plenty of children in adoptive care here in Canada that could use a good home.


Posted by on 06.02.2006 10:44am CST

Hi Jen! Thanks for your message... but I hope there are not too many "trials" ahead for us. Probably some, I'm sure...

Hi Oliver. Have you tried to adopt domestically or otherwise? I tried to answer this question in my original entry (see the part above starting with "Why China?") but apparently not to everyone's satisfaction. I will say honestly that we did not do too much investigation into domestic adoption, but we know several people who have (especially now that we are on our way to adopting and are meeting other adoptive and potential adoptive parents through the process). I can tell you that the international adoption get-togethers and yahoo groups are FULL of people who are choosing international adoption as a last resort, after finding that domestic adoption did not work for them. It is a process filled with uncertainty, long waits, mostly older and "special needs" children, sometimes the requirement to foster (and potentially have the child taken away again) before adopting, etc. I know of one family who was on a waiting list to adopt domestically, and was told it would be an 8-10 year wait. They have since adopted from China and are STILL on the waiting list domestically. We did not want to wait that long, and we do want a young and hopefully healthy child. We did not want to solicit birth mothers to give us their baby in a private adoption, which seems to be the only way to get a young baby.

I know the older and special needs children need homes too. However, we do have to be honest about what our family can handle. I mean, I don't kid myself that a child who has spent the first year of their lives in an orphanage will be completely without baggage, and I know that the medical history of adopted Chinese children is limited. We are preparing ourselves to handle some complications if they come up. I would not want to take on the problems that a child who has spent even longer without a family might have, though.

In addition Ted has other reasons, like feeling that children without families in Canada are relatively well-cared for compared to some other places in the world, and the other stuff I wrote up above under "Why China?"

I think another question that should be asked here, is: if there are SO MANY children available in Canada, WHY is it so difficult to adopt them? I know of one family who was willing to take an older child or even a sibling group, and still couldn't manage to adopt domestically. I don't know the answer, but there is something wrong with the system! Oliver, if you are planning to adopt domestically, I hope you have better luck than the folks I have talked to!


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